A PAIR of colleagues who believe they are engaged in a secret affair could not be more wrong, workmates have confirmed.
Chief operating officer Emma Bradford and procurement manager Nathan Muir think they are conducting an affair in some kind of special bubble making their meaningful glances, murmured endearments and surreptitious caresses invisible to the rest of the office.
Colleague Donna Sheridan said: “Before the first lockdown it was all flirtation. Now they’re studiously ignoring each other, apart from when they’re very obviously sexting during sales meetings.
“It couldn’t be more obvious they’re shagging if he was bending her over the desk while we’re eating lunch. Have they forgotten how bored we all are?
“They’re clearly at the stage when lust makes all rationality go out of the window, and have convinced themselves no-one else possesses eyes, ears, or a sense of smell. I envy them.”
Bradford said: “Nathan? Haha. He’s good company, but sex? Couldn’t be further from my mind.
“Is it partners invited to the Christmas do this year? It is? Then no, absolutely no way are we shagging. Memorise that and repeat it.”