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One Woman's Week: It Could Be Me

NO doubt when Britain's latest Euromillionaires have completed their cider-fuelled celebrations they will say a prayer to Jesus, Vishnu or whatever pagan wicker god they worship in Gloucestershire. But little do they know that the force of nature they should be thanking is me.

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Royals 'Ready To Return To Home Planet'

THE Royal Family are preparing to return to their home planet near Sirius, according to the Queen's astronomer.

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