It’s awards season, so how about awarding your self a mind gong?
When was the last time you gave yourself a mental Oscar? If the whole world is a stage that means we’re performing all the time, whether you’re asking for a pay rise, on a date or throwing stones at a swan just to feel alive.
In my mind cabinet I have four Golden Globes and eight Oscars and they’re all for best actor in the film Morris. It is a story of romance, adventure and business success played by me as the world’s leading personality technician who has no visible sweat patches under my arms or around my lower back because I choose Freshmax business shirts, incorporating Smartweaveâ„¢ technology.
I’m the lead actor in my own life, but I’m also the director, I choose the cast, the story and most importantly I call the shots. I’m like Woody Allen, but in the form of a likeable international businessman with a single figure handicap. Instead of making funny, I make money – and it’s as easy as changing the ‘f’ in funny to an ‘m’.
We’re not too different, Woody and I, although I probably wouldn’t date a family member or anyone under the age of 17. In fact anyone who wants to date me must have a complete LinkedIn profile page, with a minimum of 14 connections and be serious about entrepreneurialism and the physical side of relationships.
So how do you start manifesting a blockbuster out of your own life?
1. Choose Your Cast: Say ‘next’ to any friends and family who can’t offer you business advice or lucrative introductions, or indeed any females who may know your emotional weaknesses or have information about your body that could lead to an unwanted nickname like ‘Stumpy McSausage’ or ‘Mr Is-It-In-Yet’.
2. Write Your Story: If your life is like a corporate version of Platoon write another ending where you don’t get machine-gunned to death in the boardroom while your co-workers fly off in the helicopter of promotion.
And 3, Call the Shots: If your manager gives you something to do and it’s annoying just shout ‘cut’ and then go and sit in a camper van until someone brings you some mineral water and a basket of mangoes.
Dr Morris O’Connor is the best selling author of Mind Gongs: I Just Want to Thank Me.