ALL rail, road and footpath links to Leeds are to be severed permanently from the end of 2021, the government has announced.
The HS2 rail line to Leeds has been cancelled, all other rail lines will be torn up, roads will be blocked and routes out will be patrolled by armed guards with orders to shoot on sight in a decision welcomed by the rest of Britain.
Levelling up minister Kemi Badenoch said: “HS2 made us realise that not only should nobody go to Leeds quicker, nobody should go to Leeds at all. It’s a Northern shithole and that role’s amply filled by Manchester, Liverpool and Newcastle.
“So from 00.01am on January 1st, 2022, Leeds will be forcibly cut off from Britain. Nobody will be allowed in or out. It will be wiped from maps and from history.
“Anyone who lives or works in Leeds is advised not to. No compensation will be offered. You made the wrong choices, and it’s on you to suffer the consequences.
“Together we can rid Britain of the scourge of Leeds. It would be grossly irresponsible of us not to at least try.”
Mancunian Tom Logan said: “Wow, Boris really is going all out to win Red Wall voters, isn’t he? And it’s working.”