FOLLOWING Boris Johnson’s admission that he ‘believed implicitly’ that 30 people in the garden drinking was a work event, all work is bring your own booze from 1pm today.
Whether working in an office, on a building site, flying passenger airplanes or in Downing Street while nominally in charge of the country during a pandemic, you may bring and drink booze.
A Conservative source said: “Of course there’s alcohol at work events. Just look around you now. Everyone’s f**king hammered.
“Judy in accounts is on the bourbon, Colin the HGV driver’s finishing off a crate of Stella, and primary school teachers are doing shots. So the prime minister’s fine.
“And it’s retroactive from the beginning of the first lockdown. If you haven’t been drinking at work? More fool you. If you work from home especially.
“Go out in the garden, it’s an extension of the office. Work in this country doesn’t mean being chained to your desk, operating theatre or tunnel-boring machine and never has.”
Tories conceded the policy could cause hundreds of thousands of deaths to save one man’s career, but pointed out that this is in line with party policy over the last two years.