JACOB Rees-Mogg, Priti Patel and other shitheads who would never be employed in any reasonable government have announced they want their old boss back.
The former ministers all attended a special losers’ conference in Bournemouth this week to argue for the return of the only man who would ever give bumbling morons like themselves Cabinet jobs.
Nadine Dorries, once ludicrously secretary for digital, culture, media and sport, said: “It’s not about us. That I can only get work on Talk TV now is a coincidence.
“It’s about restoring a vote-winning, election-sweeping political giant to Downing Street, conveniently forgetting the scandal that kicked him out and his resulting massive unpopularity which we’re pretending never happened.
Proven bully Priti Patel, who has been replaced by an even more racist and stupid version, said: “I was the home f**king secretary. Now people don’t even shudder when they pass me in the street.
“We’ve tried gross economic disaster and ineffectual base-level competence a try. Neither’s worked. Time to put the dream team of headbanging lunatics led by a serial liar back on top.”
The conference, estimated to have cost tens of thousands, was not deigned worthy of attendance by Boris Johnson.