TODAY’S by-election in Gorton and Denton is to change British politics forever if Reform or the Greens win, but if Labour win does not matter.
The election of an MP you have not heard of in a place you have not heard of will change the country irrevocably, shattering the two-party consensus and rewriting the political rulebook, unless Labour hold the seat in which case it will be the next one.
Journalist Martin Bishop said: “A Reform win? The first wave of a turquoise tsunami. It means all Britain wants a total reversal of all post-1962 immigration, relaxed gun laws, corporation tax abolished and mandatory lunchtime drinking for men.
“A Green win? The first drop of an emerald rainstorm. It means all Britain wants uncontrolled immigration, a 150 per cent tax rate for billionaires, total legalisation of all classes of substance, the closing of the National Grid and mandatory beards for men.
“A Labour win? Starmer’s resignation is put off until May, pending further developments in the Mandelson case.
“A Conservative win? Have you lost your f**king senses?”
Gorton voter Steven Malley said: “Stopping fly-tipping is my big issue. So I thought I’d vote Green because they’re environmental, but then Paul down the pub says it’s immigrants doing it.”
