Tuesday, 7th July 2020

Can anything stop Boris Johnson? Yes

IS Boris Johnson, armed with a fresh Brexit deal the sceptics said he could never get, now unstoppable? Nah. Here’s why.

His massive unpopularity

The country’s loathing of Jeremy Corbyn, who last week was voted less popular than expressing your cat’s anal glands, has blinded many to the fact that Boris Johnson is himself less popular than stepping barefoot on Lego. This may prove a hindrance.

It requires the support of people who hate him

It’s not easy to get people who’ve despised you for years to help you, particularly if you've ruthlessly sacked them. Boris expects this help, but only because he is Britain’s most entitled man. 

Everything he’s tried so far has failed

Returning from Europe with a bold new deal, giving nobody time to check the details and passing it on a Saturday is pure Boris theatre. Just like prorogation and all the other stuff that failed. Politics isn’t a Netflix show about politics where that crazy idea might just work.

Northern Ireland might matter

In a classic reverse ferret, Boris has moved from resigning over Northern Ireland to completely screwing Northern Ireland over within 15 months. The ERG may also be a problem here, although it’s hard to tell because they are hardcore nutters who call themselves ‘Spartans’ when they are in fact tubbies like Mark Francois.

He does rather mess things up

The prime minister does have a habit of unforced errors. The right-wing press has decided this doesn’t matter because he’s the new Trump, but that’s not working out for Trump right now. Giving a fruity American bird free taxpayer cash may backfire too.