Friday, 3rd July 2020

Cummings revealed to be one of Boris Johnson's children

BORIS Johnson is defending Dominic Cummings so robustly because he is one of his illegitimate children, it has emerged. 

Downing Street insiders have revealed that the prime minister’s controversial special adviser is also his ‘special little man’.

A source said: “Cummings is definitely one of Johnson’s sons. It’s why he hasn’t been sacked or sent to work with Michael Gove full-time.

“Boris has kids all over the place. The not-too-bright ones get a job in government, but Dom is so weird and erratic Johnson made him a special adviser so he can keep an eye on him.

“The paternal relationship is pretty obvious. Cummings is always pestering Johnson to play football with him and wakes him up in the middle of the night to ask for a glass of water. 

“And he calls him ‘dad’. That’s a bit of a giveaway.”

However Johnson refused to confirm the relationship, claiming his prolific impregnating means he simply cannot remember who is his child anymore.