I can’t stop myself dressing like a builder. The moment I’m in trouble, which is a lot, I sneak off and put on my hi-viz and hard hat. Is this normal?
I can’t help myself. I’m in the Commons taking questions and all I can think about is how comforting it will be when I slip into my steel-toed boots later. It’s an obsession.
It only started because I was doing it for work, but it’s taken a hold on me. I’ve tried dressing up in lab coats and doctor’s scrubs but it doesn’t have the same proletarian thrill.
It’s affecting my life. I leave parties early so I can dress as a builder and drink strong tea. Yesterday I had all kinds of important things to do but I invented a trip to a Welsh concrete factory just to feel the comforting embrace of a fluorescent orange coat.
I’m in danger of losing my job but I can’t stop wearing the outfit and fantasising about being a self-employed contractor called ‘Mike’ who specialises in discouraging quotes for kitchen extensions. Can you help?
Alex of London
Donna replies: Your growing obsession with workwear stems from some area of your life where you feel inadequate. Perhaps you’re out of your depth at work, perhaps your marriage is in trouble, or perhaps you’ve realised your entire life is a disaster.
Dressing as a builder makes you feel life is simple, with nothing to worry about except when the bricks will arrive and guessing the pop year on Radio Solent.
If you’re as terrible at your job as you say you are, what have you got to lose? Indulge your fascination with the construction lifestyle. Get a dirty white van that no tools are kept in overnight. Wear jeans spattered in cement.
As you’re already a compulsive liar with a track record of unrealised construction projects, it sounds like you’re perfect for the job. Live your dream and make everyone happier.