Friday, 6th December 2019

Everyone dying to ask left-wing Brexiter what f**king planet he's on

ONLY politeness is stopping people asking a Jeremy Corbyn supporter how the hell a ‘left-wing Brexit’ is supposed to work.

Student Nathan Muir infuriatingly drones on about “building a fairer socialist society”, despite most people in favour of Brexit appearing to be right-wing gits.

Friend Nikki Hollis said: “Nathan actually voted Remain but now he keeps going on about ‘escaping the neo-liberal tyranny of the EU’. I blame ‘magic grandpa’ Corbyn.

“I’d really like him to explain how a left-wing Brexit will work if the economy’s stuffed. That and the small matter of everyone who’s in charge of Brexit being a Tory or a free market nutter.

“However, the only way I can think to phrase the question is ‘Have you lost your fucking mind, you absolute fucking twat?’ and I don’t feel like that will help our friendship.

“Also, if he calls it ‘Lexit’ one more time I’m going to move straight past the conversation bit and just punch him very hard in the face.”

Muir said: “Lexit will be great for Britain, and this is totally different to the time I got really into Communism and ponced around the common room talking about violent revolution.”