THE UK’s rich have welcomed a budget that puts them and their needs first for a f**king change.
Kwasi Kwarteng’s mini-budget scraps the banker bonus cap, abolishes the higher rate of income tax, gets rid of stamp duty, and abandons a planned corporation tax rise, helping the six-figure strugglers who keep Britain running.
Hedge fund manager Martin Bishop said: “Well thank f**k for the long-overdue return of common sense.
“All we’ve heard about in years is small businesses, hard-working strivers, and low-income familes on the poverty line. We so badly needed a government to tell all those losers to get f**ked.
“If they want something from this budget they need to triple their incomes and get their hands on some assets. They’ve been given all the encouragement they need so they’ve no excuse.
“Once I’ve finished with my cars, houses, yachts or women I don’t throw them away. I pass them on down the pyramid, so benefiting me benefits everyone. That’s basic economics. At last, a chancellor who gets it.”
Fork-lift driver Wayne Hayes said: “I see where this is going. We’re making the whole country as deeply in debt and completely f**ked as I am.”