DOMINIC Cummings has damned Boris Johnson by saying tens of thousands of people needlessly died. If you’re a diehard Boris supporter, here’s how to pretend he’s still great.
Cummings is a liar
You believed him over the Barnard Castle thing when Boris was sticking up for him, but he was obviously a big fibber all along. Apart from his Vote Leave campaign, of course. Anything that led to Brexit is the gospel truth.
Poor Boris was ill
Who could expect Boris to be on top form last summer after he’d been so ill? You’d think he’d have developed some empathy after being in intensive care and not talked about bodies piling high, but he was probably just tired and cranky rather than being a horrible narcissist.
I couldn’t do any better
Tell yourself this, despite the evidence clearly pointing to Johnson f**king things up. Don’t remind yourself that he’s been gunning to be prime minister since Eton and should therefore be capable of the job he desperately wanted.
He was prepared to be injected with Covid on telly
Surely the mark of a heroic leader prepared to do anything for his country? Apart from the fact that it would have been monumentally stupid, it’s the kind of bullshit hubris that got us here in the first place and he probably would have died, it’s a great plan.
At least he’s not Matt Hancock
At the very least, you can comfort yourself with the fact that Boris isn’t Matt Hancock, who is allegedly an even bigger liar than the Prime Liar himself. Not that this means he’ll be fired. What a great government.