THE government says coronavirus is all the more reason to leave the EU. Here’s why we’d never have caught it in the first place if it wasn’t for Eurocrats and their regulations.
Prawn cocktail crisps wouldn’t be banned
We’ve all missed this delicious comestible since it was banned by the EU. Having our crisps back would be a boost to national morale just as effective as any vaccine.
£350 million a week for the NHS, or private health companies
The ‘£350 million’ claim has been pooh-poohed but the side of a bus doesn’t lie. Money currently being spent on paper clips in Brussels could be going to the NHS. Although since it’s unfit for purpose, the money should really go to excellent entrepreneurial start-ups such as Virgin Care.
We could do any mad thing we like to tackle coronavirus
We’ve already flirted with ‘herd immunity’ but there are lots of weird things left to try. Why not spray all migrants coming to the UK with disinfectant? There’s no scientific evidence it would help, but plenty of Daily Mail readers would like it.
The British character would come to the fore
Having stood alone against the Kaiser and then Hitler, moral fibre and resilience is built into English DNA. Given the chance to make our own decisions, we wouldn’t lock ourselves indoors like French cowards but take on the virus the good old British way – in a fair fight, down the pub.
We could make all criticism of Her Majesty the Queen a criminal offence
With hanging for treason. It probably wouldn’t affect the virus but would add to the wartime atmosphere we’re so keen on.