THE party that chose an amateur chainsaw-juggler to perform her act on the roof of a burning orphanage believes a general election would be dangerous and irresponsible.
Conservatives, who decided to throw a non-driver the keys to a Lamborghini Huracan even though she was pissed, have agreed that Britain simply cannot risk an election right now.
Susan Traherne, member for Bury St Edmunds, said: “This is nothing to do with that girl we gave a flamethrower to and sent into the library. This is serious.
“And a general election now, while this country is battling on fronts as diverse as inflation, Ukraine, energy bills and not liking the Tories? It would be wrong to consider it.
“Yes, we did just strap Truss and Kwarteng into a fighter jet and tell them to have fun, but allowing the electorate their say on a new prime minister? It would be suicidal.
“They say they want a general election, but the last woman said she wanted a low-tax high-growth economy which is why we were cool with letting her play drums on the National Bomb Collection. Look how that worked out.
“No, the party who released tigers into your children’s primary school is putting safety first. No election for a year.”
