SENIOR Tories are furious that the party is so shit at running the country that it could damage their prospects at the next election.
Conservative MPs are once again left wondering how it is that a party which is so good at getting elected always f**ks everything up the minute it gets into power.
Susan Traherne, member for Eddisbury, said: “It’s such a tiny little thing, not being able to govern.
“Compared to our owning most of the country, having an entirely compliant media backing our every lie and having all the money, you’d think it wouldn’t matter at all. But somehow it still does.
“Just because we inevitably make everything work worse while costing shitloads more – for example trains, energy, the NHS, universities, I could go on – the electorate can’t handle more than a decade or so before turning against us and I don’t think that’s fair.
“Yes, we’ve f**ked everything up and it doesn’t seem unf**kable. Yes, inflation and interest rates are going to rocket. Yes you’ll lose your house. But it saddens me that you’re so disloyal you’ll use that as an excuse to turn against us.”
She added: “Still, we’ll probably get another five years to fix things at the next election. But I know us. We won’t fix shit.”