A POSH girl finds it absolutely hilarious that you had a shit lonely Christmas last year while she and all her mates had a big party.
The privately-educated girl, who is paid £125,000 a year from public funds for doing nothing, broke into peals of laughter at the thought of the miserable little deprived celebration you had while she enjoyed cheese and wine in Downing Street.
She continued: “‘Party? What party?’ Oh, this is all such a hoot!
“Have you seen them? Meeting their parents in lay-bys to hand over gifts while we’re doing a full Secret Santa for 50 people? The juxtaposition is just exquisite.
“Carrie and Rishi and I – oh, we’re old old friends, thick as absolute thieves – just could not control our giggles when we read all these stories of old people spending Christmas alone. In the North, too! Can you imagine anything more tragic?
“We are so naughty, telling the whole of Britain not to have parties and then holding one ourselves. Such rebels. And it made it all the more fun.
“Are you recording this? You are? Marvellous, wing me a copy and I’ll share it on the WhatsApp. It’ll never not be funny.”