MATT Hancock has taunted his former boss by calling him from the bed he shares with his new girlfriend while not handling a pandemic.
The former health secretary, who quit his job and left his wife in a single weekend, placed the 9.45am call to remind the prime minister who the real winner is here.
He said: “Is that Boris? Hey Boris. Sorry, only just up. Late night with the new bird. You know that stage where you can’t keep your hands off each other?
“Anyway, thought I’d see how the whole Covid thing’s going. You know, the one that’s not my f**king problem anymore? You’re having fun with it, right?
“It’s weird because this whole thing – affair with posh totty, sudden abandonment of all responsibilities, a giddying sense of freedom – seems so much more you than me, you know? But instead I’m doing it and you’re trapped in Downing Street with a pandemic, a baby and Carrie.
“Dunno what I’ll do today. Probably sex, then a walk in the park, then watch a movie instead of listening to Chris Whitty bang on about lockdowns? You?”
Hancock added: “It was so easy. It was so easy and the rewards are so incredibly great. Join me.”