Saturday, 5th December 2020

'How's that US trade deal looking?' Remainers ask Brexiters

BREXITERS have been asked for an update on Britain’s amazing trade deal with America now that Donald Trump is likely to lose. 

Remainers feel that now is a good time to explain the excellent ‘Anglosphere’ deal so they can enjoy new, high-quality US products and not go hungry because our food from the EU is stuck in Dover. 

Tom Logan said: “I’m not hassling anyone, I’d just like to know when those delicious, juicy US steaks are coming over. Not the ones full of hormones, I don’t want to grow breasts on my back or something.

“I was sceptical about a deal coming together with idiots like Boris Johnson and Liam Fox doing it, but every Brexiter promised a good US deal so I should stop being such a negative Nellie.

“I phoned my Brexiter friend Gavin about it but he had to go because his goldfish was suddenly taken ill. He’ll probably explain the details once the vet has given Jaws the all-clear.”

Brexiter Norman Steele said: “We’ll get a brilliant deal, maybe not with America, but with economic powerhouses like Haiti, Papua New Guinea and the Taliban-controlled areas of Afghanistan.

“That said, I’m so obsessed with immigration I don’t actually care if my entire extended family is on the dole and we just get some overpriced Twinkies.”