LORD Frost has resigned as Brexit minister because the reality of the job was ruining the clean, pure, eternally gratifying Brexit of his imagination.
Frost, famous for turning up to initial negotiations with nothing but a blue suit and a smile, admitted that daily meetings with the EU were spoiling his own personal mental Brexit and he could not allow it to be sullied further.
He said: “In many ways, it’s my conception of Brexit – a simple dream where Britain enjoys tax and trade advantages far beyond any country on Earth, and attains perfection – that’s carried me through.
“I have never allowed that dream to be grubbied by rival politicians, by experts, by economists or business leaders. I have kept it with me and let it guide me.
“But over recent months, having been forced to actually sit down with EU officials, I have been brought face-to-face with reality. And I don’t like it.
“Reality seems to me biased, liberal, institutionally anti-Brexit and actively hostile to my most cherished beliefs. And I will not allow these petty penny-pinchers’ dirty hands on the Brexit of my mind.
“Instead I resign and I’m taking my Brexit with me to spend long unclouded days contemplating its unreal, luminous majesty. God, it’s incredible. If only you could see it.”
