THE UK’s entire population has rejected claims that the latest Downing Street party is a work meeting because it know a piss-up when it sees one.
The party on May 20th last year, when the rest of the country was just about allowed to go to a park, was correctly identified as a proper drinking session by all the wine bottles on the furthest table.
Nathan Muir of Canterbury said: “There must be a bottle per person and everyone’s well away from the boss. That’s a piss-up.
“The picture tells its own story. Yes, the table in the foreground are taking it easy. That’s management. The next table are hitting the booze harder while remaining watchful.
“But the ones in the distance? They’ve moved in on the free drink hard, they’re not stopping until it’s all gone and then they’ll demand more. You can see by how close they’re staying. Those guys are getting hammered.
“One of them’s already on the floor doing God knows f**king what. The guy in the middle’s already texting his girlfriend with a bollocks lie. That is going on well past midnight and someone’s waking up in a hedge. The lying, drunken twats.”
A Downing Street spokesman said: “It was a perfectly normal post-work gathering of 19 people mingling freely and drinking heavily while banning everyone else from doing so. Piss off.”