LIZ Truss has reassured the nation that she is certainly not using the blank cheque of a scrutiny-free opening period as prime minister to do anything bad.
The country’s new leader told Britain, in a low-key no-headlines-necessary way, that she and her team were hard at work on policies to benefit the whole country and not engaged in any kind of behind-the-scenes stitch-up.
She continued: “For example this energy bills business, which we’re putting together while you’re all busy looking at something else and rushing through. That will be brilliantly fair.
“Likewise the bills banning strike action, replacing your old-fashioned European human rights with special Brits-only rights and our new ‘lose your citizenship’ laws are all stuff you’d approve of so don’t need to hear about.
“Why would I be plotting with the vested interests who fund the Tory party, and specifically my leadership campaign, at a time like this? I wouldn’t be. So I’m not.
“You guys all just pay your respects and don’t think about me or my government who aren’t up to anything nefarious. We’ll see you with a load of bold new not-in-the-manifesto policies in a couple of weeks.”
Norman Steele of Worcester said: “To be fair if Boris was still in he’d be throwing a nine-day rager.”
