GEORGE Osborne is putting off doing the Budget with a series of trivial distractions.
Senior Tories believe the chancellor is avoiding the Budget with activities such as rearranging his CD collection and playing World of Tanks.
David Cameron said: I know the Budget is boring, but George really needs to knuckle down or hell just have to make it up on the spot like last year.
Whenever I ask him how its going, he just goes yeah, good then says hes got to clean the cooker or something.
I keep telling him that how we spend £690bn is more important than selling the old rowing machine he never uses on eBay. And the Budget only happens once a year, whereas he can take his old paperbacks to Sue Ryder any time.
“If it’s just pensioners getting fucked again I’ll know he’s not even tried to do anything original.”
Osborne reacted angrily to suggestions that he was avoiding doing the Budget, saying that Facebook is a vital part of his communications strategy.
He added: There’s loads of time. Anyway that’s how I work best, staying up the night before a deadline with a shitload of energy drinks and a grab bag of Starburst.”