Thursday, 13th May 2021

Andy Burnham a bit worried about this red wedding invitation he's been sent

MANCHESTER mayor Andy Burnham has admitted being suspicious about a wedding invitation he has received which is unusually red. 

The brightly-coloured and unexpected invite, hand-delivered to Burnham’s home this morning, is for the wedding of a friend he had no idea was even engaged and asks him to bring along the deputy mayor, the treasurer and Manchester’s Chief Constable.

Burnham said: “It’s in the Midlands but tier one, outside and socially distanced, and Freya is a good friend. I always swore I would attend and should honour that promise.

“But the thing is I’m not quite at ease about the colour. It’s crimson. And glossy. I keep catching it out of the corner of my eye and it almost looks like something else.

“I hope she’s not still resentful about the time I said I’d marry her, back in college when when we were leathered off tequila. Nah.

“It would be great to get out after this civil war I’ve been fighting against all them in the south. Relax, have a few drinks, feast, completely forget about my enemies.

“You know what? I will accept this red wedding invitation. What can go wrong?”