ANGELA Eagle is a less viable leader of the Labour Party than haphazard ski jumper Eddie ‘the Eagle’ Edwards, it has been confirmed.
Eagle had emerged as the leading challenger to Jeremy Corbyn, but researchers discovered most people would rather be governed by Eddie the Eagle, a member of US country-rock band The Eagles, or just a large eagle.
Voter Bill McKay said: “I’m sure she’s very nice, but when it comes to representing Britain in international trade talks we’d be in safer hands, or talons, with a massive bird of prey.
“Granted, it can only communicate in an indecipherable, high-pitched squawk, but it wouldn’t burst into tears because it thought it had hurt Jeremy Corbyn’s feelings.
“Eddie the Eagle might, but he’s a lovely bloke and is far too good for the Labour Party.”