Monday, 25th May 2020

Brexiter can't remember if he means it or if it's just a wind-up

A LEAVE supporter cannot remember if he is actually against Britain’s EU membership or if he just says he is to wind up Remainers. 

Electrical contractor Stephen Malley thinks he voted Brexit, although his first clear memory around the referendum is claiming he did to irritate some arsehole Remain voters in a pub.

He said: “Certainly I don’t give a toss about the EU, and never did. But I’m addicted to the outraged reactions I get when I say I voted Brexit.

“Thing is, I don’t want everyone losing their jobs. The weak pound’s done me no favours. Signing trade deals with Cambodia or wherever’s fuck all to me.

“But ‘taking back control’ sounds tough like the tagline to a Jason Statham film and ‘you lost, get over it’ is something I rarely get to say as a Coventry City fan.

“Maybe I just like antagonising people because, let’s face it, there’s an attention-seeking twat inside all of us. Anyway too late to change now.”

Malley has admitted that perhaps not every Remain voter is a rich, sneering Londoner who goes skiing with their au pair, adding: “But most of them are.”