Britain to have only one law at a time, says Farage

NIGEL Farage wants Britain to have a rolling programme of 365 laws, each in operation for one day a year.

The UKIP leader said the country was being strangled by too many rules and regulations which were all being enforced at the same time.

He wants each day to have its own law which will last for 24 hours and then be ‘deactivated’ for 12 months.

Farge said: “The last thing we want is anarchy, but do laws really have to apply all the time? That can’t be good for anyone.”

Farage stressed that breaking the law on any given day will be punishable by death, adding: “Just don’t racially discriminate on No Racial Discrimination Day and don’t murder anyone on No Murder Day.

“We’ll print up calendars and do an app so you’ll know which law you have to obey.

“It’ll probably be on the news as well.”


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Ask Holly: All I want in life is a fast car and a juicy steak, should I run for PM?

Dear Holly,

I’ve had a chance to calm down a bit and reflect on my actions and I admit, I can be boisterous and hot-headed, but I’m a simple man with simple tastes. All I want in life is a fast car and a juicy steak, and I’ll kick off if you stand in my way. That is my MAN-ifesto. Should I run for PM?



Dear Jeremy,

Why is it that if an adult punches someone, all the other adults sign a petition to make him King of England, but if you are a school kid and you kick off you get marched to the headmaster’s office and subjected to an intense programme of rehabilitation involving a mauve-wearing passive aggressive old woman called Sue? You’ll spend the rest of the term drawing pictures of rainbows and learning coping strategies whilst listening to Enya. It isn’t pleasant but at least you get out of double geography.

Hope that helps,