Wednesday, 5th August 2020

Britain to leave EU because of massive, blond-haired child

BRITAIN will quit the European Union because a massive, blond-haired child says so.

But although his argument was largely incoherent, it has not stopped Britain from agreeing wholeheartedly with the chunky, vaguely amusing boy.

Emma Wilkinson, from Stevenage, said: “He’s just so wonderfully British. I don’t actually know what that means and I don’t care. Is he full of shit? How would I know? All I can see is that big, cheeky face.”

Martin Bishop, from Peterborough, added: “I read his articles, but I read them out loud in his voice. It’s great fun.

“I don’t want to think about the EU because it’s actually very boring. So I’m really happy to delegate my decision to the massive blond-haired child.

“Is he a maniac in ruthless pursuit of power? What a horrible thing to say about a little boy.”