NICK Clegg and Nigel Farage are to argue in public about which of their two parties contains the most freaks.
The Lib Dem and Ukip leaders are trawling through their membership lists to find people who no-one will sit next to on the bus.
Ukip insisted its members were a broad church of paranoid sociopaths, while the Lib Dems stressed that not all of their freaks had defected to the Greens.
Standing next to a naked man with a Union Jack tattoo on his face, a Ukip spokesman said: “Meet Geoff. He believes that all Asian people are robot dogs. This is going to be a cake walk.”
A Lib Dem spokesman said: “Obviously we’re expecting bong-bongo sluts and a 15 minute bit on gay fluid dynamics.
“But, did you know that there’s a Lib Dem member in Swindon who wants to ban teeth?”