NICK Clegg’s mother has written to David Cameron’s mother demanding an end to the cruel taunting of her son.
Mrs Clegg said that Nick ‘keeps bursting into tears’ and refused to go the Commons yesterday claiming he had a ‘sore stomach’.
She wrote: “I did not want to force him to go because it would have been very traumatic for him. Unfortunately, in the past that has led to involuntary urination.
“However, I do feel very strongly that as David is the older of the two boys he has a responsibility to protect Nicholas’s feelings.
He should not just stand by while the other boys call my son ‘spineless’, a ‘lickspittle’ or a ‘lying, two-faced sack of shit’.”
Mrs Clegg continued: “Nicholas is a sensitive boy who just wants to make friends. Heaven knows I do not think he should have been made deputy prime minister. He is such a gentle little soul. Last week he wrote me a poem about a frog.
“And recently he has been learning how to play the bassoon, so hopefully that is something he can eventually pursue as a career.
“In the meantime, while our two children are running the country, I would ask that your son is nice to my son and lets him join in with European summits.”
A source close to Mrs Cameron said she would not take kindly to being lectured to by ‘some Dutch cow’ and would most likely throw the letter straight in the bin.
Or set fire to it.