Saturday, 26th September 2020

Corbyn so reasonable supporter worried he's been drugged

JEREMY Corbyn is taking political positions so rational that a worried supporter is afraid he is being drugged and controlled. 

Momentum member Nathan Muir fears that the only way Corbyn could have been stopped from totally screwing up efforts against no-deal would be if he was kept docile on tranquilisers and manipulated by shadowy advisers.

He said: “I kept waiting for Corbyn to blow it. To suddenly back an election. To demand the SNP install him as leader. Or simply to not turn up because of a meeting of the Wakefield Free Cuba society.

“But somehow he glided through the entire thing and even now shows no sign of abandoning his sensible positions for anything suicidal. So that proves it.

“I’m going to mask up, break into Labour HQ, smuggle Corbyn out disguised as a grumpy old caretaker, and deprogramme him on my allotment.

“I’m confident that within 48 hours he’ll be shunning all co-operation with the Lib Dems, claiming only he can deliver a worker’s Brexit and delivering the next election direct to Boris.

“It’ll be better that way, because he’ll remain ideologically pure.”