Defence secretary spends entire debate doodling explosions

DEFENCE secretary Michael Fallon has spent the whole of today’s Syria debate doodling bombs and explosions. 

As the prime minister made the case for war and everyone pretended not to have already made up their minds, Fallon’s drawings have grown increasingly elaborate. 

He said: “Actually, I’m really good at these.  

“You can see I’ve put in lines of force here, so everyone’s being thrown in different directions according to the bomb’s impact, and at the top I’ve written ‘none of these people are civilians’. 

“This one’s got a donkey being thrown sixty feet in the air. Look at the expression on his face!

“In the bottom corner of every page I’ve done a flick-book, so you can watch an AGM-154 smart bomb falling, falling, identifying its target and then BOOM.

“I was going to continue it so it shows democracy flourishing from the rubble, but I ran out of pages. Still I think we can just assume that.”