BRITAIN last night told the prime minister it was getting really quite late while making a big fuss of cleaning up the living room.
As Gordon Brown started yet another story about meeting Bono, Britain put its hand gently on his back and laughed saying, 'well that's just great – did you have a coat, by the way?'.
But despite Britain's wife collecting the empty glasses as noisily as possible, Mr Brown continued to sip slowly at his white wine before suggesting Britain put some more music on.
The prime minister was invited after a friend said he was really interesting and deep. But after half an hour it became increasingly clear to everyone in the room that he was just awful.
Britain's friend Geoff said: "Who the fuck is this guy? He keeps frowning at everyone and having a go at them for getting drunk or betting on the Grand National.
"What an arsehole. I'm a bit worried about losing my job and I just fancied a few drinks and a laugh, but instead I get stuck in the kitchen with Night of the Living McDead."
Britain added: "I knew something was up when I got a text from Tony saying, 'How you getting on with Gordon? HA HA – Fuck You'."
Britain has now spent the last two hours looking at its watch and pointing out that it has to be up at 6.30.