Wednesday, 12th August 2020

Elderly rich white men almost ready to sort this shit out

A GANG of elderly rich white men are just about ready to step in and sort out this mess that was definitely not the fault of any elderly rich white men. 

Following yesterday’s parliamentary rebellion against the government, men who have been in power for decades are determined to solve the terrible problems built up over the last few decades.

Nathan Muir of Nuneaton said: “Well, thank God somebody stepped up.

“This Oliver Letwin, whoever he is, is a bloody hero. Name does seem familiar. There was a fella called that involved with the poll tax, I seem to remember. Must be a different one.

“And all these other MPs, with their wealth and their private educations, will surely be able to fix these terrible issues which have arisen because of the systemic dysfunction caused by over-representation of the wealthy and privately educated.

“Yes, I have complete confidence that Parliament, which always acts in my interests and is never pursuing any agenda of its own, will settle this Brexit business entirely to my satisfaction.”

Julian Cook, Conservative member for Wiltshire North, said: “So, we need to do what we want while making it briefly look like it’s what they wanted. Thoughts?”