Farage and Geldof in naval battle just as prophecy foretold

NIGEL Farage has faced Bob Geldof in a pitched battle on the Thames, just like the fortune-teller said.

Farage and Geldof chased each other up and down the river for several hours soundtracked by Magic FM as predicted by Margaret of Shrewsbury in 1349.

Witness Nikki Hollis said: “I never thought the references to ‘Bob Geldof’ and ‘Nigel Farage’ and ‘a flotilla of angry fishermen’ were meant to be taken literally, but it turns out I was wrong.

“Margaret knew all along that Geldof’s ship would be boarded by hose-wielding trawlermen while Kate Hoey was sick over the side, and that David Coburn would challenge Alex Salmond to a duel on the waves. More fool us for doubting her.

“For years, I wondered what the words ‘it will be live-tweeted by Buzzfeed’ meant. Well now we know.”

Hollis added that she was looking forward to the next stage of the prophecy, where Prime Minister Boris Johnson opens the seventh seal and ushers in the end times.