I REGRET that I must resign as leader of the Scottish Conservative party, because: f**k this sh*t.
As leader of the party for the last eight years, I am proud to have taken the Conservatives into their current position as the second-largest party in Holyrood and with 12 MPs in Westminster. But really: f**k this.
On a personal level, as mother of a ten-month-old baby boy, I have over the last year realised what my priorities are in life. Which is to say: b*llocks to the lot of you.
Claims that I am resigning because of the Brexit position taken by Britain’s prime minister, Boris Johnson, are baseless. Though he can honestly get tae f**k.
In truth, my issues with the wider Conservative party have been building for some time, and it is only fair that I take some time to reflect what the f**k is up with those Etonian pr*cks.
Thank you, goodbye and f**k this sh*t. I’m gone.