GRANT Shapps has announced plans to join a rap group that actively encourages the use of multiple pseudonyms.
After being sacked from cabinet in David Cameron’s reshuffle, the ex-Tory chairman was contacted by Wu-Tang Clan founder RZA, who officially invited him to enroll in the Staten Island rap clique.
Shapps said: “I am a man who enjoys inhabiting and exploring different personas and alter-egos. The Conversative party simply couldn’t deal with that side of me, but the Wu-Tang Clan is hugely supportive of it.”
RZA – aka Prince Rakeem aka Bobby Digital – said: “Here at the Wu-Tang Clan, we are always on the lookout for exciting new pseudonym creators.
“Especially if they have a massive collection of 80s martial arts films on VHS, which Grant Shapps surprisingly does.”
Wu member Ghostface Killah – aka Iron Man aka Pretty Toney – said: “Michael Green and Sebastian Fox both sound like small town estate agents, so I’d suggest that Grant think a bit more outside the box for his next alter-ego.
“He could perhaps dub himself Digital Marketah, Clikkbait Providah or even Wikipedia Tinkerah.
“Or maybe just Ol’ Tory Bastard.”