Hunt to replace foreign doctors with 'the internet'

JEREMY Hunt has confirmed plans to replace foreign doctors with the internet.

The health secretary said that any foreign doctors will not be missed post-Brexit as everyone has broadband these days and people’s health is not actually that big an issue anyway.

Hunt added: “Who the fuck needs doctors anyway?

“We can hire old British actors who never quite made it and are desperately looking for work to play experts on some YouTube clips called things like Ow My Chest Hurts and Tell Me Why My Hand Tingles.

“I wondered what Tregard from Knightmare is up to these days? He’d be perfect.”

It’ll work for you. Meanwhile I’ll be flying to France to get looked at by a proper doctor.”



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Thing happens to Kardashians that has absolutely no relevance to your life

SOMETHING has happened to the Kardashians that does not affect you because they are strangers and you will never meet them.

Experts confirmed that you should worry about your own situation rather than trying to live vicariously through the exploits of celebrities.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Disconnect yourself from this bullshit, none of it matters.

“Perhaps think about what’s happening to you and how you can develop your potential.

“You don’t know these people. They’re just mascots for other strangers who want your money.

“Never think of them again. You don’t have to be like them, their ways are demented.

“Also never read another list of 10 things, number seven of which will apparently blow your mind.”