ALL schools will teach Michael Goves self-published novels about talking dragons and happy housewives.
Gove said dropping modern classics like To Kill a Mockingbird meant there was now room on the curriculum for the 200 or so books he has published on Kindle, of which 11 copies have been sold for 49p.
Teenage boys will love my Horatio Hove novels, about a dashing cavalry officer in the Crimean war who has a sizzling affair with Lilly Langtry even though he looks like a glove puppet frog.
I researched it by watching Sharpes Rifles and Master and Commander, so its 100 per cent historically accurate. The best bit is where Horatio sinks all Napoleons aircraft carriers.
Schools will also be required to purchase multiple copies of my fantasy epic Lord of the Thrones.
Kids will love it because its full of wonderful, imaginative ideas like magic swords, quests and talking dragons, and the reader gets a nice break from the serious bits thanks to a dwarf who gets into funny situations.
I’ve even done a book for girls, Hattie the Happy Housewife.
Teacher Tom Logan said: I read one of Goves thrillers, Day of the Cultural Marxists, but I found the story about a group of terrorist teachers trying to assassinate David Cameron a bit farfetched.
Most teachers get confused by a Banda machine, so I doubt theyd be able to steal RAF Tornadoes and attack the House of Commons.