AFTER successfully crying over a sad thing, Iain Duncan Smith has announced plans to try other human emotions.
The former DWP minister became visibly upset while describing the plight of a single mum on benefits, and is now curious about feelings such as joy, humour and love.
Duncan Smith said: “I went on the internet and made a list of all the emotions. I’m giving them all a go, even the ones that seem to have no purpose, like kindness.
“Joy’s a bastard to get the hang of. I tried listening to the innocent laughter of children in a playground but I just got angry thinking about why they didn’t have full time jobs.
“Love’s next on the list. I’d always seen marriage as a mutually tax-efficient situation between two individuals of a similar class background, but lately I’ve started doing romantic things like flicking my wife’s ear while she’s watching TV.
“I was struggling with humour but then I realised it’s subjective. Some people like gentle humour like Last of the Summer Wine, and some of us prefer shark attacks on YouTube.”