I’m here for the long term, says wasp in kitchen

A LATE-SUMMER wasp in a kitchen has reassured the electorate that it is here for the long-term. 

The wasp, which insists it has not lost the power of flight, is crawling drunkenly across a table while claiming that a bright future of unlimited sugar lies ahead of it.

It continued: “I’m not one of these wasps who’s around for a single summer and then turns up all crispy and mummified behind a bin. I’m here to stay.

“The long-term plan is I’ll crawl over here, then rest for a bit, then take to the air and buzz around a picnic or something. But I don’t want to reveal my cards too early. I’m clever like that.

“Ultimately all Europe will bow to my majesty, and I will be the immortal wasp ruler and build a global empire of paper that will last for a thousand years. I don’t think that’s an unrealistic goal.”

Householder Tom Booker said: “It’s basically dead but could still give you a nasty sting. Leave it a couple of months.”