Sunday, 25th October 2020

Johnson doesn't know meaning of 'favourable treatment', says anyone who's slept with him

BORIS Johnson’s lovers have confirmed that Jennifer Arcuri cannot have received 'favourable treatment' because he does not know what it means.

One woman who slept with the prime minister said: "Johnson is the type of man who thinks he’s treating you 'favourably' if he calls you a 'fine fillie' or offers to sign your breasts.

"Which is a proposition he’ll offer to every fair-haired female Tory under the age of 35, with no favouritism at all."

Another source added: “The next morning he offered to take me to brunch with Michael Gove and Sarah Vine. No-one would call that favourable treatment.

“I do have some sympathy for the man. He spreads himself so thinly he has trouble remembering how many children he has.”