Friday, 30th October 2020

Just because there's been a recession under every Tory government for the last 100 years doesn't mean it's our fault

by Michael Gove, Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster

YES, there’s a recession on. Yes, it’s the deepest since records began. But just because once again it’s under a Tory government doesn’t mean it’s our fault. 

You people – the media, the so-called experts, the electorate – are so quick to pin the blame on the Conservatives just because we’re always in power when the economy goes into decline.

But not one of the five recessions on our watch in the last century has been anything to do with us. On the contrary, you should be thanking us for leading the country out of them.

This one, for example, is clearly not our fault. It’s coronavirus. The fact that it’s the worst of any G7 nation is frankly irrelevant.

And don’t try blaming us for the 90s one. I don’t know if you’ve met any of those people from the 90s, but they were very irresponsible with their spending and, conversely, their saving.

Thatcher’s 80s recession was necessary medicine, the 1970s one was the unions, anyone trying to pin the 1961 one on Harold Macmillan should be ashamed of themselves, and 1956, well, ask your granddad.

Conversely the two recessions that happened under Labour were 100 per cent them. Gordon Brown single-handedly caused that last one and don’t let them wriggle out of the 70s one with any oil crisis nonsense.

So just drop it. We’re the Tories. We’re the party you can trust on the economy, and don’t you bloody forget it. Ungrateful bastards.