Lib Dem conference has ambience of a porno cinema

THE Liberal Democrat conference has recreated the sleazy atmosphere of an old-fashioned adult movie cinema.

MP Norman Steele said: “After a quick glance left and right to make sure nobody I knew was watching, I dodged off the street and through the doors of the Lib Dem conference.

“Like all older male politicians I regularly went to porno cinemas in the 90s, sadly they no longer exist but the sorry furtive vibe here is strongly nostalgic.

“A half-empty room populated by tired-looking pasty men with poor home lives, staring blankly at the entertainment while occasionally rummaging in their coats for a sandwich or biscuit.

“You can tell some delegates are homeless and have come in just for a sleep in the dry.

“Danny Alexander complained about the overpowering smell of wet clothes in the main auditorium, but I told him that sometimes in life you have to take what you can get.”