Friday, 22nd January 2021

Lone benefit of Brexit will be schadenfreude, experts confirm

THE only benefit Britain will realise from Brexit is that 16 million people can enjoy saying ‘Told you so,’ experts have confirmed. 

As it becomes clear to all but the most fanatical Brexiters that leaving the EU will be detrimental to the UK’s economy, democracy and continued existence, all those who saw it coming can at least look forward to being proved right.

Remain voter Lucy Parry said: “The one upside to all this is watching my Uncle Dave slowly realise that his beloved Brexit is going to be a shitshow.

“It’s hilarious because he thought he was kicking out the Polish shop on the corner of his road, but he works for Nissan so ultimately he’s f**ked himself over by being a racist.

“And when I say ‘funny’, I of course mean horribly tragic and depressing. But, you know, I did tell him.”

Economist Julian Cook said: “Taking pleasure in other people’s troubles is a low way to enjoy yourself, but if we’ve learned anything from 2020 it’s that you take your laughs where you can.

“The word schadenfreude is itself, of course, a German import. We’ll probably have to start paying a tariff for using it soon.”