May confirms Brexit is now a religious cult

BREXIT is now a religious cult based on wishful thinking and strange predictions, Theresa May has confirmed.

The prime minister has outlined her plans for fully-fledged cult promising incredible rewards for believers at an unspecified point in the future.

She said: “We will form small, inward-looking communities where anyone who criticises Brexit will be subjected to weeks of brainwashing or human sacrifice.

“I am the one true prophet of Brexit, which means everything I say is a fact, such as ‘Liam Fox is good at whatever it is he is supposed to be doing’.

“I call it ‘going the full David Koresh’.”

Leave voter Roy Hobbs said: “Unbelievers will regret it when they’re being tortured forever in Remoaner Hell, which I’m really looking forward to.”

He added: “I know everything will be wonderful because Theresa saw it in a dream and told me all about it. There’s no Bulgarians and I’m getting a luxury caravan.”