May considering bringing back workhouses for a laugh

THERESA May is so confident of her election victory that she is toying with bringing back workhouses just because she could. 

The prime minister has commissioned a feasibility study into reintroducing Dickensian workhouses for the poor simply because nobody can come close to stopping her.

She contined: “Treadmills, debtor’s prisons, why not? Maybe public hangings. It’s open season for us.

“I didn’t get into politics to become a monstrous right-wing ideologue, but come on. This is what happens when you have literally no opposition.

“Maybe I’ll abolish pensions as well. And child labour laws. And the universal franchise. I’m confident everyone would vote for me regardless.

“I’m sick of pretending to take this election seriously. It’s in the bag. Let’s have some fun.”