Incredible success of Newcastle and West Ham explained

FINANCIAL double-dealing may be behind the continent-conquering success of Newcastle and West Ham, observers believe. 

HMRC have raided both clubs’ grounds seizing financial records and computers thought to be linked to tax fraud, with Europe’s elite clubs finally understanding how they have been so comprehensively crushed by the duo.

Chelsea manager Antonio Conte said: “I knew something had to be up. Nobody wins a Champions League final against Barca 14-0.

“How those two went from British also-rans to titans of the global game none of us could fathom. Now we know it was cheating.

“Yes, they will always have those magnificent Premier League seasons where nobody beat them, not even each other, on their records – 108 points each, incredible – but that success was built on lies.

“Was it worth it? Would we all cheat a little to fly as high as West Ham and Newcastle have? Perhaps. Perhaps.”