May pledges to hunt down the f*cknut who triggered Article 50

THE prime minister has vowed to find the ‘fucknut’ who triggered Article 50 when it was perfectly obvious we needed more time.

Theresa May said: “There’s always one twat who stands up at the end of the meeting and says ‘Actually boss we don’t need a month, we can have that report on your desk in a week!’

“Then they disappear and suddenly we’re throwing together bullshit against a ticking clock just because some muppet wanted to impress people who don’t even remember. Tool.”

The prime minister added: “It must’ve been someone anonymous, grey, clueless about how things actually work, promoted way beyond their skills. Some eager beaver who’s fucked off rather than deal with the consequences.”

Meanwhile, civil servants have blamed the whole thing on the fucknut who gave them an arbitrary two-year deadline for no reason whatsoever.