MPs Censor Expenses In Bid To Make You Forget

MPs have published a censored version of their expenses in the hope that you will forget you have already seen them.

In case you were wondering, this is about how Hazel Blears tried to dodge capital gains tax

Leader of the Commons Harriet Harman said the documents had to be blacked-out otherwise members of the public would be able to find out the actual addresses of all the houses they already know they paid to do-up.

Ms Harman added: "I read somewhere that if you show someone a document, ask them to memorise it and then take it away, cover it in black ink and show it to them again, they will immediately forget everything they read in the first place."

Constituents of Tory MP Douglas Hogg said that unless they were able to see his address they would have no way of finding out which gigantic house with the pristine moat was his.

Meanwhile people in Sir Anthony Steen's Totnes constituency said the only clue they had to help them find his house was that it was very, very large and some people said it looked like Balmoral.

Experts stressed that by publishing a censored version of the expenses the MPs had somehow managed to achieve the impossible and made the whole thing even worse.

Dr Martin Bishop, of Reading University, said: "Not only are they saying they had every right  to defraud you, they are also saying you have absolutely no right to know anything about it. And just as everyone was starting to read about celebrities again."

Bill McKay, who spent much of last month building a set of gallows outside the Palace of Westminster, said he had 'gone to a lot of bother only for everyone to get bored with it all of sudden'.

He added: "And now this happens, which means I'll have to re-oil the hinges in the trap door and find some fresh rope. It's a pain in the arse is what it is."